MY REALITY

Calgary, AB, Canada
This post is completely going to be different and most likely going to be the most authentic I ever wrote. I think that many people are either going to understand where I'm coming from or maybe going to think that I've been giving up but you all need explanation from me because it won’t be fair on my end. I want people to see where I'm currently at right now in MY reality. I feel like I am no longer “living” or I no longer have a purpose in my life. When I told myself to just take it day by day, I didn’t realize that “day by day” is not what I have in my reality. I keep referring reality because my reality is something that people needs to be aware. I wake up every morning and realize that my husband will be injecting me with drugs every single day and multiple times a day on a daily basis. This is what I look "forward" to every day, a few injections of drugs and just go back to whatever I’m doing. What am I doing though? This is also not my reality, this is my husband’s reality as well. 

I can never go back to what I was doing in my life because I can’t and I’m not able to because of my circumstances for being not in the right current mind physically and emotionally. I was lost a few days ago and as crazy as it sounds, I went to another dimensional world. Maybe you will think I’m going crazy, I probably am but that world that I was in was a painful world. It was just another shitty world that I had to get myself into which I didn’t understood why did I had to go to THAT world but when I realize I came back to my reality, this isn’t any better as well. 

I am “living” my life but I no longer have a purpose. I am currently in pain and I don’t know how to explain this life that I am currently “living”. I can’t even look at my loved ones with hope and faith because I no longer have it in me or I just can’t have it every day. I’m disappointing myself and I’m disappointing every one surrounding me. 

I feel like God has given up on me and this is something that I’m really struggling with because I’ve trusted him and I feel like he has failed me this time. My faith is really struggling as you can tell. I look back at my life and I can no longer have that. I can never have what I used to have. I’m here at home and “living” life by taking all these drugs to keep me “alive”. I’ve already accepted that I’m ill and I’m not getting cured. Drugs after drugs after drugs… I am bruised all over my body. I can’t even look at myself. That’s how much I’m hurting not just emotionally but physically when I look at the mirror. 

God is giving me days or I don’t even know anymore but it’s no longer what I want if you ask me because it’s not living anymore. I woke up this morning and read Job 7. It’s probably the worse chapter to read in the bible but of all the bible chapter, this is where he lead me? Isn’t that crazy how he lead me to that chapter? If you ask me, it’s not a coincidence but it's definitely something that questioned my faith once again. 

So you’re wondering what now? What am I going to do with my life? I can’t move back to where I was as much as I want to but I also can’t move forward because there’s nothing to move forward to. 

I struggle every single day because as much I want to try to be positive and maybe do whatever I want during the day simply by enjoying the sun, I can’t really because the medications that’s being inserted on me just drains me and makes me go back to bed so I can “wake up” and not feel nauseas. 

My family is struggling and eventually, they will have to send me away to a hospice when they can no longer handle my situation. So what do I do now? I don’t really know… I’m trying my best to stay positive but I don’t know how...

This is my reality but like I said, Im struggling just like everyone else. 

But you know what, God works in mysterious ways...he always seems to find me and I always seem to come back to him. I learned to just realize that I can never understand the way he works but at some point, he always seem to find me in the worse situation and never gave up on me. 

God, I'm still holding on to you...I know you're not giving up on me.



48 comments

  1. Micah, that's a difficult situation you are in...I'm sorry to hear it...I wish you could be drug free but I know that's not possible...

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    Replies
    1. I made a promise to tell my testimony all over the globe once my man come back to me and my husband came just as Great Mother told me when she helped me. I made the right choice to have contacted Great Mother the great spell caster who is capable of helping you solve your problems. My man left me to suffer and i never believed that he will come back to me again but when i contacted Great Mother she assured me that my man will come again. She gave me some list of items to buy but i could not get them in my country and so i sent her the money and she bought the items and prepared the perfect love spell. My husband ran back to me in 3 days time begging for forgiveness THIS IS SO REAL AND GENUINE. NO SCAMS. I was so surprise that the spell worked just as she told me. This is so amazing and i want you to believe because Great Mother is so real and i urge you contact her now on her email so that she can also help you the way she helped me. Her email is Greatmotherofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com and you can also contact her with her phone number on whats app +2348078359876 you can also check and contact her on
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      I made a promise to tell my testimony all over the globe once my man come back to me and my husband came just as Great Mother told me when she helped me. I made the right choice to have contacted Great Mother the great spell caster who is capable of helping you solve your problems. My man left me to suffer and i never believed that he will come back to me again but when i contacted Great Mother she assured me that my man will come again. She gave me some list of items to buy but i could not get them in my country and so i sent her the money and she bought the items and prepared the perfect love spell. My husband ran back to me in 3 days time begging for forgiveness THIS IS SO REAL AND GENUINE. NO SCAMS. I was so surprise that the spell worked just as she told me. This is so amazing and i want you to believe because Great Mother is so real and i urge you contact her now on her email so that she can also help you the way she helped me. Her email is Greatmotherofsolutiontemple@yahoo.com and you can also contact her with her phone number on whats app +2348078359876 you can also check and contact her on
      Greatmotherofpowers.blogspot.com
      Greatmotherofsolution.blogspot.com

      Delete
    2. Good day, Am from United States Of America, I want to quickly write on a Powerful Love spell Caster that helped me when i had a misunderstanding with my husband which leads to Divorced, I contacted this Powerful spell caster for help and He actually helped me without running away with my money.I follow the step that he ask and within 48 hours my husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I am filled with so much joy and happiness that I found Dr. OCUSODO, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours. He did a perfect work for me. I am So Happy and Excited because as i am writing this Testimony, My husband is madly in love with me again. If there is any body Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr. OCUSODO on His Email ID drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com and he is Ready to Help you no matter the Situation, Here is His Valid Email ID: drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com or add him up on what-app +2349067457724

      Delete
    3. This is my testimony about the good work of Dr voodoo who help me.... I'm Katherine from London. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to by this world top spell caster that brought back my husband which left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 2 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told have come to pass and thank you sir. Please i want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tell is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com you can also add Dr.voodoo on whatsApp +2348140120719 contact him immediately.

      Delete
  2. I know it is easier said than done. But you do have a purpose in this world. Your husband and family is your purpose. To be happy along side your love ones. To be a mother one day. That is your purpose. Keep fighting, stay brave. Nothing is this world is easy and we might not understand all the hard ache but know that it will all be worth it. Please don't give up on yourself or your husband. One day, you will have a daughter or a son and you will see how all of this will be worth it. Living is worth it. You can do it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is certainly a shocking and a genuine live Testimony!!!!.My name is Joyce Williams It was hard for me to believe when i saw a comment on the internet regarding how Dr.OCUSODO help people winning lottery by sending them the winning numbers. This winning numbers are 100% guarantee that you must win the lottery. I give it a try and i won 188.000000USD. My dreams came through when i email Dr OCUSODO and tell him i need the lottery numbers. i have come a long way spending money on ticket just to make sure i win. But i never know that winning was so easy until the day i meet the spell caster online which so many people has talked about that he is very great in casting lottery spell, so i decide to give it a try.I contacted this man and he did a perfect spell and he gave me the winning lottery numbers. I won [ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS) Dr.OCUSODO truly you are the best, with these man you can win millions of money through lottery. once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to win the lottery, and please sir keep your good work because people need your help in their lives Email him: [drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com] OR [drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com] also call him or what-app +2349067457724.

      Delete
  3. My beautful friend,

    God has a plan for all of us. You are part of God's plan. Your pain is hard and Jesus see that and he knows that you are giving him a signal of all your love with it. Holly marie in heaven please take care of my beautiful friend and be with her during this time. I love you with all my heart and always pray for you and your family.
    Lina

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  4. Oh Micah... I feel your pain.
    Thanks for being honest and sharing your struggle. I mustn't be easy for you... I pray and think of you each day. Don't you ever (ever) doubt about your purposes in life. You arr a star, a light, an angel... going through a very difficult life challenge. I wish and pray for you not to suffer. Sending you love, Véro

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  5. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. It must be so difficult when you feel so drained and in constant pain to find hope, but I know you have lots of pure love around you. Your family, friends and anonymous individuals like myself. As you question your purpose, I truly feel like you have created a purpose without maybe knowing it. With your journey and the rawness of your ups and downs, your strength and determination, your faith has impacted if not 1 person but hundred's. You have given someone else light in the darkness without knowing it which serves an undeniable purpose. I am sending all my love and positive light your way and I wish for you to be able to enjoy your life without any more pain or drugs xo.

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  6. Ate Micah, you're in our prayers and thoughts. What you're feeling is not wrong. It's real but remember that you fought with all your efforts to be here. We love you. "It's not over yet".

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  7. It's really really hard for me to say that I understand your physical and emotional pain, because though I can say I can imagine how much pain you go through now, but the truth is the real pain you endure everyday must be 10 times greater than the pain I can only imagine of. One thing I believe is I know no matter how much pain induced by this disease, you are still a formidable fighter, and remember the greatest purpose of all our lives is no matter how difficult the situations are, we must all fight for the greater cause which cherish our lives in different courses. Your absolute purpose is to keep fighting, and keep believing in yourself, and people who love you. Your fight has really influenced me, and strengthened my belief in the life path I chose. Keep fighting my dearest, and remember in our life paths, we all fight, and the simplest reason is it's never easy for us to come to this world, and we don't give up easy either. We are all soldiers of our own life battles.
    Love you forever: Andre

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  8. let Micah express herself...life is full of struggles no matter what the situation...full of trials and tribulations...we would not be able to see the light if not for the darkness...we could not feel joy if we did not know sadness...there is a season for everything underneath the sun...

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  9. "God" did not do this to you. "God" has not given up on you.
    I'm sure at some point, you read and understood the science behind genes that don't split properly and how cancer happens.
    "God" has provided you with a husband, a family, and up until this point a life. You could have died a younger age alone in the Philippines. But you didn't.
    So now what? Are you going to "live" until you die a painful death while your family watches in agony? You will be dead and they will have images of you frail, convulsing, and and dying as the cancer moves through you. That's just how it is. It's time to be honest here.
    You will have people waiting for you on the other side. You will return to your pre cancer self, and you will watch over your family as they live their lives without you. Because you will be gone. How you beside to die is your choice. But how your living now is also a choice. Why are you living this way now? Have you asked yourself that? Are you scared to die? Have you not come to terms with your death?
    Life will go on. What memory do you want to leave your family? That is what you should be asking your self. If your alive, then get living. If your dead, then get busy dying. It's something we all must do.

    "God" didn't do this too you.

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    1. "Mrs. Jackson"-- first of all, please learn the use of proper grammar-- you sounded dumb from the start, and reading your entire comment just confirmed it. What a disgusting and insensitive thing of you to say! Micah had some slight doubts in her faith and I don't blame her one bit. I would have given up on "God" a long time ago, but she didn't, and STILL hasn't. That's true strength and perseverance right there.

      She IS in pain and agony, and this is her way of expressing it. Why should she hide this fact? She no longer feels a purpose in life because she can't lead a normal one. It's at a time like this that she REALLY needs love and support, instead of an irrelevant person like you judging her for the slight doubt she's experiencing in her faith. So please, shut the f*** up.

      I won't remember her in her suffering, but in the courage and positivity she's kept this entire time. I will remember her for all the wonderful times we've shared together. I'm sure her family would say the same.

      I would never wish disease or death upon my worst enemy, but when your time does come one day, I doubt you'll handle it as bravely as Micah has been handling her entire battle.

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    2. "Mrs Jackson" maybe you will get terminal cancer and teach us all so much about how to just "deal with it" because of god. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are clearly coming down on her, when its you that could learn a thing or two from her. You are disgusting!

      Delete
  10. Clearly you didn't understand what she was trying to say...she doesn't say how she blame God for any of this...she's confuse in what God has plan for her..you don't know Micah she has been strong trying to stay positive but she's human & she had moment of doubt..you can't tell her she could of died younger or what kind of memories she's leaving for her family when you don't even know half of her battle..this has been painful for her close one & best believe what I will remember of her is how strong she was through this, trying her best to keep her spirit up & she has accept this more than you can imagine.

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  11. Dear Mrs Jackson,

    Let me start by saying - you are an idiot! What kind of person writes such a post to a young person fighting for her life? I know neither Micah nor yourself and I don't ever reply to anyone's posts or blogs but this time I just had to say something.

    You evidently know nothing about loss and death. When you lose a loved one, the "image" of agony - "frail and convulsive" as you describe it, is not at all what people remember about the one they lost. Disease and death don't define us. How we live is what defines us and that is what people will remember when we are gone. I feel sorry for the memories your loved ones will be left with when you are gone, as I imagine you are as much of a monster to them as you are to the rest of us.

    I just hope "God" doesn't give you what you wish upon others. In my experience, people like you end up worse than those they mock. Please do everyone a favour and refrain from making any aditional comments.

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  12. Dearest Micah,
    Thanks for being real and honest. Job was. That's why we can relate to his writings in the book of Job. Yet God did not give up on Him. Praying for you today as your post popped up on my news feed. Praying that God will give you the strength to persevere in your faith - the desire you've expressed is to stay strong in your faith in Him. The Holy Spirit hears you even when you don't know how to pray. He prays for you with groanings too deep for words, it says in Romans 8. May the Lord help you to continue to see His Love for you.

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  13. Dear Micah,

    I don't know you but I have been reading your blogs. I wanted to say that your blogs have touched my heart, and I am sure it does many others too. It's not because of what you are going through, but rather that you shared this most personal journey with us. Through your words I can see your genuine personality, your feelings of faith, strength, fear and courage - they are very honest and raw as you said... We are human, so we should embrace all of those feelings.
    I work for a cancer research center, and you are among many patients (reasons) I put my time and effort to trying to make new cures possible. There are no right words to say, and however cliched this may be, I am sorry you are going through this ordeal. Life is a short time of space in which we live, so we try to make the best of it until our time on earth is up. While you feel you are not "living", please look back on your life rather than think of what could have happened in the future. I hope that looking back on your life, reflecting only on good memories and experiences with your loved ones, will bring you some comfort and peace. I will definitely not forget you.

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  14. For those who are unaware:

    http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/terminally-ill-calgary-woman-who-had-wedding-after-diagnosis-dies-foundation-1.3432182

    A sad day indeed.

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  15. thanks for letting us know of the sad news...

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  16. Rip. Ur memories will not be forgotten see you soon

    ReplyDelete
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  18. In our simple life, love plays a very specific role. Now we are able to make your love life healthy and no space for any type of trouble. These all are possible with the help of EKPEN TEMPLE OF SOLUTION. He helped me cast a spell that brought my long lost lover back within 48hours who left me for another woman. You can also contact him on EKPENTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM or add him on WHATSAPP +2347050270218 and be happy forever like am now with his experience.

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  19. HOW TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK
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    ReplyDelete
  20. HOW TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK
    I want to share my testimony with everyone, my name is Victoria Desmond
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    back but none availed, until an old friend of mine told me about a spell
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    ReplyDelete
  21. Good day, Am from United States Of America, I want to quickly write on a Powerful Love spell Caster that helped me when i had a misunderstanding with my husband which leads to Divorced, I contacted this Powerful spell caster for help and He actually helped me without running away with my money.I follow the step that he ask and within 48 hours my husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I am filled with so much joy and happiness that I found Dr. OCUSODO, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours. He did a perfect work for me. I am So Happy and Excited because as i am writing this Testimony, My husband is madly in love with me again. If there is any body Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr. OCUSODO on His Email ID drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com and he is Ready to Help you no matter the Situation, Here is His Valid Email ID: drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com or add him up on what-app +2349067457724

    ReplyDelete
  22. BEST DIVORCE SPELL CASTER 

    I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my husband and we had been married for 3 years,he just suddenly changed, he was returning my calls ,he started cheating, he was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it maybe out of desperation of some sort ..and I think for a thought about the spell caster called DR UGO WONDERS I contacted him At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters, scams and i never really believed in magic.. I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle, everything went to a while new direction, I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day.. I hope they could help other people too like they did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my husband, my family and my life back to contact the DR UGO WONDERS through is email and cell number at :::  generalspelltemple@gmail.com or his mobile number on +1 386-336-9876 

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    I am doralty williams i am posting this testimony for what dr eguaga for helping me to win the lottery by sending me wining numbers.I have been playing the lottery for the past 5years now and the only big money I have ever won was 300$. Ever since then I have not been able to win again and I was so upset and I need help to win the lottery so I decided to go online and search for help, there I saw so many good talks about this man called Dr EGUAGA of how he has cast a spell for people to win the lottery.I contact him also and tell him I want to win a lottery he cast a spell for me which I use and I get my ticket and play and I won $50million.I am so grateful to this man just in case you also need him to help you win, you can contact him through his email: Eguagavoodospellcaster@gmail.com or call and WHAT SAPP him at +2348128311475. contact him for your own wining number you can also find out call me or sms me this my number am from Mississippi+16623462495.

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  24. Dr. Todd, Thank you again for all that you have done. I initially contact you because I thought that someone had stolen a box of keepsakes out of our garage when our house was broken into last summer. Some of the items had been found and returned but this box was still missing. It had some very valuable antiques in it as well as old family photos and heirlooms. I was devastated when we couldn’t find it. I had the Find a Lost or stolen Item money spells cast and four days later I got a call from my mom who said she had a roof leak and there were some contractors in her attic, while they were up there they had found this box. It was the only box in the attic; she never used her attic for storage so we still can’t explain it other than it was complete and total magick! I am so thankful for what you have given me and my family to remember those that have passed. E-mail:manifestspellcast@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. So far so good i give thanks to Dr.Ogudugu for great work he did for me during my time of distress, And i have never seen anything that works so fast and so effective like the spell that Dr.Ogudugu cast on my lover which brought my lover back to me. Here is Dr.Ogudugu details: greatogudugu@gmail.com or WhatsApp No: +2348139793075 for further inquiry and assistance.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is certainly a shocking and a genuine live Testimony!!!!.My name is Joyce Williams It was hard for me to believe when i saw a comment on the internet regarding how Dr.OCUSODO help people winning lottery by sending them the winning numbers. This winning numbers are 100% guarantee that you must win the lottery. I give it a try and i won 188.000000USD. My dreams came through when i email Dr OCUSODO and tell him i need the lottery numbers. i have come a long way spending money on ticket just to make sure i win. But i never know that winning was so easy until the day i meet the spell caster online which so many people has talked about that he is very great in casting lottery spell, so i decide to give it a try.I contacted this man and he did a perfect spell and he gave me the winning lottery numbers. I won [ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS) Dr.OCUSODO truly you are the best, with these man you can win millions of money through lottery. once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to win the lottery, and please sir keep your good work because people need your help in their lives Email him: [drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com] OR [drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com] also call him or what-app +2349067457724.

    ReplyDelete

  27. Please everyone must read this: Dr. Todd is a rare person. He is very kind, and always answered my questions. That's why I decided to cast a spell with him. When other casters just show interest in getting my money, Dr. Todd listened to my problem. I felt very confident with him, and put a lot of trust in his work. I know if I had no faith, my spell wouldn't have worked, and not so fast! If you contact TODD, I am sure you will understand what I mean. He is the kindest and the results of his spells are terrific! My story is that I was in love with my boss since I have this job. It's been almost 3 year. I tried a lot of spells to attract him, make him love me, have an affair etc? A few sex spells worked but love spells didn't until I found Dr. Todd When I read his first I knew he was different from normal casters who don't take time to answer. That's why I decided to ask him to cast a permanent love spell and a marriage spell. 34 days after the spell was cast, my boss sent me an email and invited me to the restaurant to announce me something important! The feeling I had when I opened his message was kinda weird. A mix between happiness, anxiety, and I was shocked by the power of that spell. At the same time, I thought it could be a promotion or a salary boost. Anyway, the dinner was fantastic. Food was great, it was French I think. Before dessert came, he asked me to be his wife!!! This moment was crazy! I felt adrenalin rising and my heart could have explode I think! It was the best day in my life! I must thank Dr. Todd! I recommend him to everyone! e-mail: (manifestspellcast@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor Oku brought back my husband that separated with me for good 3 mounths. Am Jessica Butler by name from los angeles. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor Oku for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for the 3 months and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor Oku who i contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor Oku said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him... Email: okutemple@gmail.com or whatsApp him +2347053113465

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  29. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor Oku brought back my husband that separated with me for good 3 mounths. Am Jessica Butler by name from los angeles. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor Oku for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for the 3 months and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor Oku who i contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor Oku said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him... Email: okutemple@gmail.com or whatsApp him +2347053113465

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