This post is completely going to be different and most likely going to be the most authentic I ever wrote. I think that many people are either going to understand where I'm coming from or maybe going to think that I've been giving up but you all need explanation from me because it won’t be fair on my end. I want people to see where I'm currently at right now in MY reality. I feel like I am no longer “living” or I no longer have a purpose in my life. When I told myself to just take it day by day, I didn’t realize that “day by day” is not what I have in my reality. I keep referring reality because my reality is something that people needs to be aware. I wake up every morning and realize that my husband will be injecting me with drugs every single day and multiple times a day on a daily basis. This is what I look "forward" to every day, a few injections of drugs and just go back to whatever I’m doing. What am I doing though? This is also not my reality, this is my husband’s reality as well.
journey
To be honest, I had so much things going on with my life that I needed to get away and by doing so, I needed to get out of reality. I didn't know how but I needed to be confused. I was hurt because there was so many prayers and I was overwhelmed by it. I didn't know how to be strong anymore. I wanted to move on with my life and I felt very safe when I was roaming around the hospital thinking that I need to leave. I felt like God was there with me throughout everything but he didn't want to let me go because I felt like Peter keeps comings back to my life and kept me very safe by telling me how much he wants to take me to see the world. I was anxious and I felt like I had Alzheimer's or if this is even reality? I didn't want to know any of my loved ones because they are just full of hope and they need to realize I will be gone. I am no longer here. I couldn't do it anymore.. I just wanted to give it up all. I was ready to go... when I told myself, I wanted to leave with a bang, I didn't know what I wish for.. I wanted a nice funeral, It was ready. I was ready... When they told me I only have a few hours to live, I was ready. I needed to go. I just couldn't do it anymore.
Once again,
Videography Credit to Ferdi Flancia Films, http://ferdiflanciafilms.com/.
I can't say thank you enough for this amazing videography. He worked all day and surpassed our expectations. My husband and I could not stop watching the video without smiling, it's absolutely perfect!
https://www.theshepardfamilyfoundation.org/
Instagram:
@theshepardfamily
@russellshepard19
@marii_vi
Instagram:
@theshepardfamily
@russellshepard19
@marii_vi
"The Shepard Family Foundation mission is to help elevate underprivileged families and youth with education, leadership and positive reinforcement!"
Dear Russel & Marian,
I sincerely want to dedicate this blog because you have made a difference in my life. Thank you for listening to my story and your recent generous gift of $5000 USD for my natural treatments that I will be undergoing for the next few months. Your generosity has given me the ability to seek more natural treatments that I didn't think was possible and another chance to fight this cancer
Words cannot express how I feel! You have given me hope and courage to fight this battle! My family and I will always be forever grateful. God Bless!
I can't believe it has been almost 2 weeks that I've been released from the hospital and it has been an incredible journey so far. I got so many surprises from my loved ones who came from different places to throw so many unforgettable moments that I will forever cherish.
My Surprise Bachelorette Party At The Grey Eagle Casino Resort, https://www.greyeagleresortandcasino.ca/ who took care of us girls throughout the night without any complications. Big Shout Out to Matt, Director of Sales & Marketing for giving us an incredible night & Ernie, Managers at the Casino who also made us feel comfortable!
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