CANDIDATE FOR A SECOND SURGERY

I had a lot of mixed feelings about this when the Dr started discussing about my possibility of a second surgery. As per usual, my oncologist was not there to discuss this. Every appointment that I was supposed to have with her, she's never around. I wish I asked for another oncologist that cared a little more.  tip: please do not hesitate to ask for a better oncologist if you don't like yours! 

Like I said, I had mixed feelings about this. First of all, I was happy to know that the surgeons wants to meet me very soon to talk about a possibility of a second surgery only after a few cycles of treatment and a result of my pet scan. This basically means that I have a chance to be cancer free! and to know that my chemotherapy is working! all this pain is worth it! 

The Dr who was telling me all this also mentioned the worse case scenario and also, "food for thought". She mentioned that chemo bath isn't just a chemo bath! There are possibilities that when they open me up, there are chances that they didn't see/weren't aware until they cut me open. There are chances that they need to remove some organs that are affected which I wasn't aware of this at first when my oncologist talked about this possible procedure at the beginning.

I was affected by this because if I knew that my ovaries or uterus might be removed after this procedure, I would've no doubt freeze my eggs no matter what the cost is. It would've been nice to be aware of this beforehand. This is why it's important to have an oncologist that cares!

This time, my mom wasn't around. Usually my mom is with me in every appointments and every treatments. For some reason, my mom wasn't here this time. This is the first time I broke down in a hospital. I usually hide my emotions until get I get home but this time, I couldn't hold it in. I cried in front of my dad and this is something I don't take lightly because I hate when my dad sees me in pain. 

Despite all this, I still need to trust God and also, just focus on the positivity!