MOVING BACKWARD?

Just when I thought everything is going forward, I am straight back to where I started or maybe worse...

I woke up the next morning, this time my pain was controllable. Thank God for my boyfriend who stayed in the hospital all night with me trying to control my pain and continuously asking me if I needed more pain killers. He kept me in track so I won't feel any pain when I eventually wake up. 

I honestly don't know anything about what just happen or the results that came with my surgery so I asked my boyfriend to tell me straight up and just be blunt about it. He told me that they found tumour in my small intestine. My mom was the one that was informed by the surgeon, he heard it from my mom so he also doesn't know more. 

A Dr came to see me during the morning but he wasn't the surgeon who did my surgery so he also had no answers for me! He basically told me that the surgeon wasn't able to do anything because it wasn't just a twisted intestine like they thought at first. He basically cut me open and closed me right away without doing anything. There were so many unanswered questions. This time I was scared. I was really scared for my life. 

Then, I got an unexpected visit from a palliative team. wtf? WTF? We had no information from the surgeon and we're already talking about "managing" my symptoms. They are basically sugar coating that I'm slowly dying and just wait until I can't function anymore. My boyfriend was so upset as to why are we discussing this? Why aren't we discussing for another possible surgery so that this blockage needs to be removed. I can't eat or drink anymore, this needs to be fixed as soon as possible. ASAP! We can tell that the palliative team knew more but they keep "trying" to say they are just back up plan, it does not mean that this is the only option.

She said that she will contact the surgeon to come and speak to us about other possibilities and of course, answer ALL unanswered questions. I needed a miracle more than ever!