PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE

The odds are not on our table this time. I have no control. I can't ask for healing but only for a miracle. A miracle that the surgeons will try to get me back for surgery and hope that they can at least fix my blockage.

But so far, there are no surgeons that are willing to do this procedure. The malignant tumours/cancer cells had spread all over my small and large bowels. The Dr said there's simply no way they can fix me, even to remove the blockage is futile. We asked for a second opinion, and we're currently waiting for this Dr to come to hopefully remove the blockage, so at least I can eat or drink a little bit. For now, we are praying and hoping my bowels will dilate and open up to get my bowels to work again, if surgery is not gonna happen. 

Right now, I am on NG tube to prevent vomiting and I have an IV fluid for hydration. So I haven't eaten since Monday (4 days). This is how I'm currently "living" at the hospital. So basically, I am palliative. I think I've hit the end of my journey.

On the positive note, I am gaining my strength back. They removed my epidural so I am taking pain killers through an IV and I am walking from the bathroom to my bed.

It's crazy how fast this is all happening, way too fast! But as of right now, I am hoping for a miracle for a few more weeks to live... Let me gather my thoughts. My realizations in life and how I am currently coping with my situation right now will be on my next post...